I Often Wonder, Father

Many times I have wondered, as I'm sure you have, just why we have to endure so much pain and suffering in our lives. At one particularly bad time in my life, when I was suffering from acute clinical depression, the Lord gave me the following words of hope. I hope that you, too, will find some comfort in them.

I OFTEN WONDER, FATHER

I often wonder, Father,
Why I've been through so much pain,
And why, when I think things can't get worse,
They do, time and time again.

Sometimes I feel so lonely,
So afraid and full of doubt,
And wonder why it appears to me
That You have shut me out.

I look at so many other people
Who seem so happy and carefree…
They look so fit and healthy;
The complete opposite of me.

Why should I be the one to suffer,
While others live a life of ease,
For I'm the one who follows You,
But they do just as they please.

Then I move a little closer
And look into their eyes,
And through the window of their souls,
I see the fear they can't disguise.

They really don't have anything;
No love, no hope, no friends,
And I realise they do not know
Where they'll go when their life ends.

Oh, Father, I now realise,
And in my heart I know it's true,
That, if I had never suffered,
I would never have met You.

For it was only because I suffered
That I began to seek You out,
And found that You're the answer
In my times of fire and drought.

And when I think again about my life,
And what I have been through,
I realise I'm only here
Because of my belief in You.

For there were times when I really thought
That I just could not take any more,
But You were always with me,
To encourage and reassure.

For every time I feel downhearted,
Or my body's racked with pain,
I only have to worship You
And my spirit soars again.

I only have to read Your Word
For my fear to disappear,
And, as I bow my head in prayer,
I know that You are near.

So Father, please forgive my fear,
And please disregard my doubt,
For I know that You are always near
And that You will never shut me out.

For You are my refuge and my strength,
My Saviour and my friend,
And I know that I will be with You,
When my life on earth comes to an end.

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